Black Hole of Indecisiveness

I didn't know what to do. Like any true liberal arts graduate I wavered back and forth between going back to college to pursue a second Bachelor's degree, to pursue a Master's in History, or to forget school for now and focus on continuing my career in the Intelligence field. I applied to a college in Virginia as an undergrad with the intent of picking up a few more history courses before charging in as a graduate student. I was accepted but didn't register for classes. Between the time I applied and time for registration came about, my husband and I had decided to move back to Georgia. So, I focused on applying to intel jobs in the Atlanta area....of which there aren't many I assure you. After a couple of promising interviews and emails I met with a wall of defeat. It turns out that this economy isn't the best in which to look for a new job (who knew?). So, now I've come full circle to applying to college again, this time as an undergrad in Georgia.


This year of insanity has provided a lot of insight into my tendency to be indecisive. Because I can't figure out exactly what I want to do I end up not doing much of anything. I even stopped writing because I felt that it would distract from my job search and that it wasn't productive so why bother. I was being bitter basically. So now I say screw it. I should just do what I've been wanting to do for 2 years now....go back to school. I'm not totally abandoning logic here. A BA in Anthropology isn't much use even in a good job market and my 7 years of intel experience is restricted to the military field and civilian employers don't give flip about that it seems. I have no intention of going back overseas or moving all over kingdom come again to hunt down an elusive intel job. So, changing careers seems like a good move as long as I pick a degree that will give me good job prospects after graduation. I have no problem working a dead-end hourly job as long as I'm in school and working toward something better.


For those of you who even read this and have wondered what I've been up to this past year the answer is simple and boring - nothing. Well, I have made significant strides in fitness. I took up running (I needed to see progress in some area of my life) and I've since competed in a 5k, 10k trail race, half marathon, and marathon. My next race is a half marathon on Thanksgiving Day so at least I'm physically better off than I was a year ago. I tend to have a one-track mind so focusing so intently on improving my running has resulted on everything else being out of focus. "I have a two hour run in the morning! I don't have time for anything else!" That's how my messed up brain works. A multi-tasking corporate mogul I'll never be.