Do you ever have that feeling that you want something so bad that it just HAS to happen? Where you think that no one wants this as bad as you? You aren't the only one. Watching American Idol got me to thinking about it, and now I see this phenomenon everywhere. People think that because they have a desire to do something, that they will succeed at it.
A while back I read a book called Alien Hand Syndrome: And Other Too-Weird-Not-to-be-True Stories by Alan Bellows and the editors of Damn Interesting. In this book they discuss, among other things, the Above-average effect which "describes the phenomenon of individuals' rating themselves as above average at nearly any skill in which they have an interest". It goes on to say that those who aren't really good at a task but have an interest in it think that they are really good at it, and conversely those that do really well at a task often underestimate their abilities. This could also be linked to a later chapter in the book where they describe the concept of Irrational Optimism:
"...average people hold cognitive biases in three key areas: first, viewing themselves in unrealistically positive terms; second, believing they have more control over their environment than they actually do; and third, holding views about the future that are more positive than the evidence can justify."
Not only is this stuff very interesting (as are the less esoteric chapters of the book like "Cyborg Spy Kitties" and "The Dwarf Who Became a Giant"), but it's also very thought provoking. After reading this I began to second guess everything I thought I was good at. Was I really good at my job or did I actually suck? I think I'm good with animals but am I really like my Aunt Diane that spoils them rotten and whose house smells like a kennel? Since I think I'm a decent writer do I really write like I'm in third grade special Ed? And that leads me to further think that maybe I'm a lot better at things I've abandoned because I thought I sucked at it. I think I'm a horrible people person, so does that mean I do well around people? I think I'm not very creative, so does that mean I'm actually coming up with some kick ass original ideas? But really you can't go through life thinking like this. The book even points out that a certain amount of Irrational Optimism is necessary to keep you from becoming a depressed realist. Yeah, you may have an irrational sense of self-importance but at least you're happy and have something to live for. And you can't go around second guessing yourself either or you'd never really settle on anything that you enjoy and/or are good at.
Then again, there are the people who take this Irrational Optimism to a whole new level....the aforementioned American Idol hopefuls. Just because you think you can sing, doesn't mean you can. Didn't someone, somewhere along the way tell these people they are absolutely horrible?? I'm not talking about the finalists that are on TV now. Sure, some of them are not particularly great, but they at least have a fairly decent singing voice compared to the average person. I'm talking about those that show up to the auditions and screech their way through a song that was either A) meant for someone with a completely different type of voice B) was mostly created by technology and sound effects anyway C) is just a horrible song to begin with or D) they couldn't successfully sing any song ever written, period. Then, after they're told that they suck by the judges, they leave the room crying and/or indignant that someone had the audacity to tell them they can't sing. No one wants to be their occupation's version of that person.
It isn't just restricted to singers either. You've got people who enter the military and have no talent whatsoever for any skill the military actually values. I have to say that I'll include myself in this as I am not competitive or aggressive and that's kind of important in the military. You have people that go into customer service with no people skills, those that try their hand at business even though they can't even keep their own affairs and finances in order, and those that seek out a college degree who can't write a cogent sentence let alone a paragraph. And then there are the writers. I decided to take up online writing because I enjoy writing, and I figured it couldn't hurt to try and get my material out there. However, there are others that make the decision that they're going to make money at it and are disappointed when they don't see a six figure income. They just can't accept the fact that it takes time to make any sort of money with writing, or that they just aren't very good at it.
So far I've been discussing people who aren't good at something thinking they are God's gift to music or writing or what have you. On the opposite end of the spectrum you have geniuses working at Waffle House. Why? Maybe they are just lazy and take the easiest job they can find. Maybe they don't want a job with a lot of responsibility and would rather enjoy their free time. Maybe they just don't realize what they're really good at. I know high school students are emotional and difficult to deal with, but maybe our guidance counselors should put more effort into helping us find our niche in society before we end up a 30 year old working in a dead end job they aren't good at or happy with. Sure you can try and rely on the feedback of loved ones but what 19 year old is going to listen to his mom tell him what job he should get? Chances are, he'll go the opposite route. In the end though, sometimes you've got to throw talent to the wind and just do what makes you happy. You'll either eventually get really good at it, or make people think you are because you've been at it so long. Or you'll get fired and have to move on.
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