You Take The Good, You Take The Bad....

...You take them both and there you have The Facts Of Life...
What an awesome show.  Thank God they didn't really spend a lot of time explaining the facts of life to us or that would've been a really awkward nine years.  And how would they have explained Jo?  Jo likes girls, but she is a girl...don't think on that too hard kids.

I've realized that many kids out there didn't get the 'facts of life' talk quite the same way I did.  Ok, I didn't actually get the facts of life talk at all.  If I did, I must have somehow blocked it from memory.  I do remember asking my mother about sex and being told that she would explain that to me when I was 15.  Really?  You were going to wait until I was 15?  Needless to say I found out about it on my own, and I never got that talk.  Thankfully I didn't fall into the realm of the average kid who has sex at 15 years old, or I would've been really confused.

After listening to others talk about their experiences I've realized that parents just have no clue when it comes to explaining stuff like this.  They either tell their kid way too much too soon, or they wait way too long.  When you explain to an elementary school kid all about sex and I mean ALL about it, don't expect things to turn out okay.  How will you explain your actions to the parents of the other third graders when your kid tries to show them how to masturbate or explain to them how babies are made?  Then you have the opposite end of the spectrum.  Take my husband's father for instance, who decided to explain all about wet dreams at the breakfast table one morning.  My husband was 21 at the time and his younger brother was 19....I think you are a little late on that one pops.  If they don't have it figured out by then, then they probably never will.

I understand why parents shy away at explaining this issue.  It's an uncomfortable topic to discuss with your kids, but it's kind of mandatory to go over it.  You don't want a 12 year old explaining to another 12 year old what sex is.  You want to be the first to get your ideas in their brain, but don't overload them with details.  Instill whatever religious or moral values you have into your children, but let them know it's okay to come talk to you about sex.  And don't assume that just because you waited until you were 18 to have sex that they will do the same.  Avoiding the issue isn't going to make them hold on to their virginity any longer.

What will I tell my kids?  Hopefully I won't try to rely on videos or books to cover the issue for me.  I don't intend to shelter them either.  No matter what I do, I won't be able to change my kid's personality.  If they are going to be interested in sex at an early age, I'm not going to be able to suppress that.  The most I can do is educate them, teach them values, and hope they are intelligent enough to do the right thing.  I'm not gonna lie though, they'll be forced to watch The Facts of Life at some point.

Tag I'm it....

So after posting the remainder of my Hunchback of Zagreb true story, I checked my dashboard only to find a new post by Christina In Wonderland picking me as a puppet in her diabolical puppet show of freaks.  Ok, it isn't anything like that, but I must do her bidding.  Apparently I'm supposed to open up my first photo album and pick the 10th picture.  Here's what I got:

 My uncomfortable looking self is on the far right with the coolest shades.  This was a picture taken in Iraq in late 2008 with the rest of my team members.  I got this from someone else's FB photo originally anyways, so I figure it's ok to re-post here.  Looking at this pic brings back memories, but I'm sure glad that I'm out of the military now.

Hunchback of Zagreb Part 2

So, after meeting this nice but horridly ugly friend of mine, we travel to his apartment? Condo?  Not sure how to describe it as it seems like a place his family has lived for a while, it is in the middle of the city, and isn't like any place I've ever lived.  It, like most of the buildings in Zagreb, was several hundred years old.  There were three families that shared one communal bathroom, which was a common thing apparently.  It took a lot for my American sensibilities to get used to. 

I was impressed by the city and its history.  Coming from a country with a much shorter history and a city that only dates back to about 200 years ago, Zagreb seemed ancient in comparison.  Nowhere in America are you going to find a medieval castle after all.  Their public transportation was a lot like the cable cars of San Francisco, and even though you were supposed to pay to ride it, I found that most people chanced it and just got on without a ticket.  They would only check the passengers every so often so to most people, it wasn't worth it to buy a ticket.  Seems like a horrible way to run a public transportation system. 


I also found out about a culture that I'd had little knowledge of before by Croatian visit - Gypsies.  They are considered the outcasts of society in Zagreb, as they are in most parts of the world.  I felt sorry for them at first, then found out why they got such a bad wrap.  Gypsy children about five years old with their hair shaved into mo-hawks would stand on the street corners and sing, dance, or play an instrument.  These kids were by themselves with no supervision and they often were more of an annoyance than anything.  They were known to vandalize property, pickpocket, and steal.  I was warned to look out for them early on.  I think it's only fair to point out though that all my information came from the biased point of view of the Croatians in the area, and I really have no idea how the gypsies lived or what their culture was really like.

One thing that stunned me about Croatian was the rate of unemployment.  Most young people didn't work, or go to school, or really do anything.  I had to wonder where all their money was coming from.  Their parents? A trust fund?  For my Croatian friend he got money from his father, who seemed to support the entire family.  It seemed that the reason there were so many unemployed people was that they were all looking for a job in their field, not just a job to support the family.  Apparently one person working per family was enough.  When I asked why they didn't just get a job in order to earn money while they wait for the "right" job to come along, they just looked at me like I had suggested they sell body parts for money.  I knew that not every culture had the same values and sense of duty Americans did, but this was incomprehensible to me.  It wasn't as if they were roughing it either.  I don't know where the money to purchase food, clothes, and the multitude of action figures and posters I saw in his place came from, but somebody was footing the bill for it. 

My experience with Croatian food was not as bad as one would expect.  Most of their cuisine was made up of meat, bread, and spices in one variation or another.  I didn't see many fresh vegetables.  The food was pretty good, but it seemed to me that it would get old eating the same type of thing day after day.  Their take on western food was not appetizing.  Pizza consisted of a flat crust with what appeared to be a teaspoon of sauce spread over it and thinly sliced deli meat on top.  Gross.  McDonald's was, as you can probably guess, not our version of the food.  It tasted different - not worse, not better, just different.  But comparatively, it was hella expensive.  And you had to pay for condiments separately.  Can you imagine if they tried that here in the states?  Charging people for their ketchup packets would not go over well.  No wonder they stick to spiced meat wrapped in bread most of the time.

My movie viewing experience was also very different from what it is here in the States.  There's no stadium seating like we use in American movie theaters, so it makes it more difficult to see.  You buy your ticket and received an assigned seat; you can't just sit wherever you want.  And the movies are shown in their native language with Croatian subtitles.  I chose to see an American film, naturally, so that I could understand what was going on.  I can't for the life of me remember what film I saw though.  I was probably too interested in what was going on around me to pay attention.

Unfortunately I no longer have pictures of my visit.  I have no idea where they went.  That sucks because I'd love to have them now to help me remember things...as long as none of the pictures had the crypt keeper guy I was with in them. I don't know if I'll ever want to go back there though.  It was a fun experience and really eye-opening for a young, naive college student but I can't see it having much in the way of tourist appeal.  After that visit though my communication with crypt-keeper guy waned.  It wasn't just because of his looks though.  I couldn't get over the fact that he didn't have a job, nor any intention of getting one anytime soon.  He wanted to visit the U.S., but would never have the money to if he didn't get a job.  His country seemed so poor, but no one seemed to want to work.  The cultural difference was just too great for me.  They obviously valued different things in life, and I just couldn't get over that.  I think I've grown a lot since then and I hope that, if faced with someone so different again, I'll be a more understanding.

Hunchback of Zagreb

I once flew to Zagreb to hang out with my hunchback, seven-foot tall, internet friend for a week.  Nope, this isn't a fictional story.  I actually did this.  You know how an incident can seem horrifying when you're going through it, but in retrospect it can seem quite funny?  This wasn't was of those times.  I knew as I was doing it that it was hilarious and absurd, which is probably the reason I went through with it.  It would be a prime story for later on down the road. 

For those of you that don't know where Zagreb is, it is the capital city of Croatia.  For those of you that don't know where Croatia is, it was once a part of the former Yugoslavia.  For those of you who don't know where that is - seriously, it's better to just Google it.  How did I come to know someone in Croatia?  Honestly I don't really remember.  For a while I was really into online pen-pals, so it might have been through a pen-pal site...I'm not sure.  But, I had been talking to this guy for years online (as a friend...I was married to my first husband at this time), and we had some pretty deep conversations and some other conversations about Star Trek and dork stuff.  Essentially we got along as friends because of a common geek-bond.  After I got divorced I wanted to do something I hadn't been able to do while married.  I guess to prove that I could get by all by myself.  I was in my early 20s but I wasn't big on partying or bars or anything, so I decided to travel. 

Why did I choose Croatia? The answer was simple.  All I had to pay for was the round trip ticket.  My Croatian friend said he had an extra room I could stay in, so I wouldn't have to worry about a hotel or anything.  He would show me around Zagreb, so I wouldn't have to worry about being alone or lost in a strange city.  At this point you are all probably thinking that this was an extremely bad idea.  A single young female going to a foreign country to visit someone she only knew via the internet.  You're right.  It was a bad idea, but I saw it as an adventure and jumped at the opportunity.  I wasn't really worried about the Croatian dude taking advantage of me because after all, I had been talking to him regularly for three years and I felt I knew him.  To save you any worries at reading this story further - he behaved himself and was as uncomfortable around me as any geek-dude would be.


To say that I had ruled out a little international romance would be a lie.  I had decided to meet him in person to determine if he might be boyfriend material at some point.  He had sent me a picture, but it wasn't clear (that wasn't a warning sign for me?  Boy was I naive).  And, he had told me how tall he was...seven freaking feet.  But you don't really realize how freakishly tall that is until you see someone in person.  I remember my first thought when I was in the baggage claim area of the Zagreb airport and saw him waiting for me.  I thought, "oh shit, can I possibly schedule a flight back right now without him noticing me?". 


He wasn't just tall, he was freakishly tall.  He was also a hunchback and ugly as sin.  I ruled out the boyfriend idea then and there.  There are no words to describe how ugly he was.  A sound would be more appropriate - the sound of someone vomiting violently.  Let me try to describe him anyway.  He had thick glasses, but even behind those I could tell that his eyes were not level with one another and not the same size.  He had a huge nose that looked like it had been broken at some point, but it probably hadn't been.  He had a receding hairline, but attempted to make up for it by growing his hair really long in the back.  This hair was also thinning and looked like the hair one might find on the crypt-keeper, if that helps you visualize it any better.  He had a very long face and bad teeth, and you can't even say that he had a good complexion...because he didn't.  Also, as I have mentioned already, he was a hunchback.  I suppose you don't get to be seven feet tall without having to look down on people all the time, but again, this was something I hadn't thought out beforehand.  He brought a friend with him who was actually cute - and by cute I mean normal looking.  Why couldn't that be the guy I was coming to visit? 

I know internet readers have short attention spans so I'll keep it short and post the narrative of the rest of my trip later.
To be continued.....

Aside from the blue eyes and no nose, this is what awaited me at the airport.

Autobiography: Science and Abandoned Houses

When I was a kid I liked to explore (heck, I still do).  That was before the time of the internet and when computers were prohibitively expensive, so I couldn't indulge my curiosity online.  Whenever my mom would take me to the library, I would check out a bunch of books about space, history, botany or whatever I was into at that point in time.  Then, like now, I would become obsessed with a subject and learn and experiment with my new-found hobby until I had beaten it into the ground like the proverbial dead horse.  Almost all of these projects of mine were solo endeavors.  It wasn't as if I was lonely, because even then I realized that most people aren't as interesting to me as I am.


Lucky for this headstrong explorer, we lived in the country.  When I say country, I don't mean the suburbs.  I mean one-stoplight-in-the-entire-county kind of country.  This was in an area and before a time where you had to watch your children like hawks to make sure they wouldn't get snatched up by a traveling pedophile.  So, I was allowed a great deal of freedom to play outside in the yard, in the woods out back, in the road, in the neighboring fields...you name it.  I took full advantage of this to start my budding career as a scientist.  This behavior was likely exacerbated by the fact that I was a huge Star Trek fan even then, and was determined to earn a spot on the Enterprise via my Spock-like scientific mind.  So, I proceeded to collect, press, categorize, and archive various plant specimens in the greater Heard County area.  I had no method to my madness and in reality had no idea what I was doing, but it was fun.  I also liked to take my notebook around and write down observations of the area as if I was Lewis or Clark documenting the strange wildlife of the New World.

As I got a little older I sort of got away from the scientific part and gravitated towards an interest in History.  We had a couple of abandoned houses in the area which I hesitantly began exploring.  I don't know what I was looking for.  I guess I just wanted to get an idea of how people used to live 40 years ago when those houses were inhabited.  And, let's be honest, I wouldn't have been averse to finding a human skeleton under the floorboards.  I investigated these areas piecemeal.  I was so scared of falling through the floorboards or being bitten by some unseen rattlesnake that I went about my work slowly.  Every now and then I found some pretty interesting stuff; costume jewelry in a tin can, rusty tools left out back, old pieces of furniture rotting in place.  When I was in high school I'd invite a couple friends to come exploring with me, but none seemed to have the interest in it that I did.  By that time I was no longer pursuing the Star Trek dream, but thought maybe I could be a female Indiana Jones.

I realize that I haven't changed very much from those days.  I just had 6 years of the military that sort of restricted what I was able to do.  There were moments, like my year at DLI, where I was able to indulge my whims.  It used to upset me that I would move from one hobby to another and usually go back and revisit previous hobbies from time to time as well.  Now I've gotten over it and accepted it as part of my personality.  I learn better this way I think, and I can't imagine a world in which I stop learning.    

Air Traffic Control is Child's Play

Maybe I'm just not taking this seriously enough, but the idea of a child directing air traffic control doesn't seem to freak me out as much as it does everyone else.  On February 17 at JFK airport in New York an air traffic controller brought his child to work with him.  There was no school that day because of the snow, and for whatever reason this controller ended up bringing his kid with him.  He then proceeded to let his child (voice sounds like a son, but at that age you can't really tell) direct traffic.  You can hear the child's voice on five recorded transmissions directing the pilots "JetBlue 171 contact departure", and the like. 

The kid sounds like he knows his stuff.  Furthermore the pilots didn't seem upset about it and just responded as if he was any normal air traffic controller. Likely the "real" air traffic controller was coaching his child on what to say, so it isn't as if the child had free run of the air traffic.  Also, the interaction between child-controller and pilots only lasted for a few minutes, so no big deal right?

The FAA seems to think it's a really big deal.  So does the majority of the news services reporting this story.  You'd think by their reaction that the child was in the tower by himself while his dad took a smoke break, or that the kid was actually piloting a plane.  Speaking of which, haven't we seen this sort of thing before?  Having a child check out the cockpit and see how the instruments work or make an announcement to the passengers wouldn't have been cause for concern before this whole 9/11 thing brought about tighter security measures.  I'm sure plenty of parents have done this exact sort of thing with their children.  Having a CEO's child sit at his father's desk and pretend to be a businessman doesn't mean the kid is actually running the company (incidentally the CEOs themselves often sit there pretending to be businessmen).  But yes, I know there are limits.  You wouldn't let your child go fight fires with you if you were a firefighter, even though you might give them a tour of the station, slide down the fire-pole, and sit in the firetruck.

I guess I just don't see why this has become such a big news story.  It's in the newspapers, online news, and on television.  Really?  The main fuss over all this seems to be that controlling air traffic requires a lot of concentration and attention to detail, which you can't do if your child is in the tower with you.  I think the biggest question shouldn't be "Why was that child allowed to direct the traffic", but "Why was the child allowed in the traffic control tower in the first place"?  Regardless, that should be an internal investigation to determine if the actions of the air traffic controllers in the tower produced an increased risk to the planes, and not a media fiasco.  Have we really become so uptight as a nation that we freak out over something like this?  Some people should take themselves a little less seriously. 

Coffee Party movement! I love coffee!

As a response to the ultra-conservative Tea Party Movement, there is now an increasingly popular Coffee Party movement.  I can totally identify with that as I: 1) consider myself liberal in my political views and 2) I love coffee.  The movement began with a simple Facebook rant by the movement's founder Annabel Park, who didn't intend to start a movement but once something like that sprouts wings, you just gotta let it fly.  This conjures up images of covert meetings in the corner of a Starbucks, which I would totally love to get invited to.  The movement now has a Facebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/coffeeparty as well as its own site http://coffeepartyusa.com/
 

                                                                        Smell the liberty


The idea of a Coffee Movement was probably inevitable.  You have roughly half of the U.S. that considers themselves some degree of conservative and roughly half on the opposite end of the spectrum that considers themselves a liberal to some degree.  There are, of course those who can't make up their minds or are apathetic to the whole thing, but let's pretend they don't exist for now.  Naturally, when you have a movement like the Tea Party Movement operating under false historic pretenses, you are going to anger some people.  I find the Coffee Party idea more attractive because it is geared more towards progressiveness.  It probably also has something to do with the fact that the Tea Party movement decided it would be a good idea to "tea bag" Washington.  That is just, well, gay.

                                                                        Tea bags = gay
                                                            
Will this really do any good?  Maybe or maybe not.  I doubt we will see our Democratic and Republican bipartisan government reinvented as a Tea Party versus Coffee Party government, but it makes Americans take notice.  To me, that is the most important thing here.  Use whatever catchy title you need to, but encourage Americans to do their homework, get interested, and change what they don't like.

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